Media Bitch

Now the dust has settled, it's time to look back on another Media 360. And the event wouldn't have been the same without the traditional healthy attendance after hours in the bar.

Those enterprising fellows at Newsquest cashed in by turning their stand into a cocktail bar, which drew a healthy following, particularly after it got Richard Eyre's endorsement from the main stage. Though, clearly, MPG's Mark Craze has a refined taste for finer things. Turning his nose up at a hastily shaken elderflower dacquiri, he quickly retreated to the "real" bar insisting on champagne to clear his palate.

Meanwhile, Mike Parker and the Channel 4 team made the most of their connection with sponsor Peroni, but it wasn't just the free beer they doled out that lured people to the stand. The comfortable sofa and attractive pair of ladies acting as hostesses probably helped, too. And when it came to grabbing attention, Accenture's decision to set up a golf competition - complete with a virtual digital course - did the trick. However, it was all too predictable to hear that media pluralist Mark Palmer - who happens to run a golf-related business on the side - carried off top prize.

Elsewhere, O2 marketing man Mark Cody scored a hole-in-one for the brand when, during his presentation, he asked the audience to get their phones out and text 60030 with the promise they would be sent a barcode to win a case of champagne. The assembled did just that, except nobody could get a signal, bar those on the O2 network.

NOTHING CAMP ABOUT P&O'S WORLD CUP STUNT

Has '70s smut-movie legend Russ Meyer got a new job working as marketing director at P&O? You could be forgiven for thinking so if this latest stunt from the ferry company is anything to go by.

Apparently, VW has sold out of Camper vans in the UK, a story that provides the inspiration for this viral promotion. As these girls expertly demonstrate, you can fit nine people in one van, and P&O is offering you the chance to win it in time for the start of the World Cup.

If you want to have a look at the viral, from one of the few firms in the world that still goes in for liberal use of the word "saucy" in its press gumph, visit www.fanvan2006.co.uk.

DOORS AND BORES? IDS BASH GOES WITH A BANG

IDS launched a new book the other day - it's called New Language for the Medium of Television - and it had a little event at the Design Museum to trumpet the arrival of this publication.

It started off with hard-hitting media commentator Ray Snoddy hosting a debate, where he asked Tess Alps just why she had taken the Thinkbox job.

Bitch can't help thinking the number £250,000 might help to explain that one (although that's only rumoured, of course).

Later in the evening, discussions ended and the great and good moved out on to the balcony for a polite media hobnob and some canapes.

The conversation was obviously too stimulating for a couple of anonymous media types - so hasty were they to make an exit that they walked straight into the patio doors ... ouch!

NI FURY AS SCALES TIPS BALANCE IN OUR FAVOUR

News International likes football. So much so, that its five-a-side team forced former Spurs player and part-time media-jolly host John Scales to perform a stewards inquiry after failing to get the result it craved in the recent FHM/O2 Media Cup.

Murdoch's boys drew 1-1 against the mighty Media Week, but were incandescent with rage after having a Geoff Hurst-style "did it or didn't it" cross the line moment ... except this time around the ref disallowed the goal.

Cue much bullying of Scales after the game, culminating in the ex-pro having to confirm with the busy ref what the score had been.

If only some of NI's editorial folk been such sticklers for accuracy over the years, it could have avoided some rather costly errors!

Fair play to the NI boys, though. They went on to beat PHD Drum 2-0 in a tense final ...

TIME BANDIT - Richard Spalding, MD and co-founder/Kontraband

30% - Is spent on new business opportunities, which involves writing proposals for new clients who want their virals seeding both on Kontraband.com and on our network of partner sites around the world.

15% - Surfing the web, looking at what our competitors are doing and asking why we're not doing it.

10% - Replying to clients who want their virals seeded for free. Explaining that, while in the "good old days" virals spread around the world for free, now like any other media, you need to pay to get your message to consumers.

10% - Talking to media buyers, traditional advertising agency people, brand owners and whoever else wants to hear about viral advertising, why it matters, how it works and what you need to do to make the most of it.

10% - Talking to our network of site partners around the world and working on new deals whereby we can distribute our clients' viral ads on their websites.

5% (x5) - Lots of 5% things ... 5% trying to sell my car on eBay; 5% trying to buy a new car on eBay; 5% replying to ridiculous questions from our US PR agency, which tries to convince me that an article in the South Carolina Herald is good for business; 5% giving our staff a hard time about not writing messages down and 5% playing with Noodle, the office dog.