Media Bitch


Bitch thought James Purnell, media minister, was looking shifty when she interviewed him at the DCMS last week - and her suspicions were confirmed when he defected to work and pensions just three days later.

Purnell, who jumped ship following Peter Hain's sudden resignation, has been replaced by ex-flatmate Andy Burnham. So, ignore the silver-tongued spin about media being "precious", the reshuffle shows how highly the Government really values media: not much.

On a happier note, Titan Outdoor headed Stateside for the Titan Worldwide Sales conference in Orlando to celebrate "smashing its annual targets".

Top brass Bill Apfelbaum and Don Allman ran the earlier, more civilised proceedings, before leading their staff astray for the remainder of the four-day trip.

A paintballing session included compulsory facemasks, so nobody knew if they were pummelling their closest ally or their arch rival, while a trip to Disneyland saw all 175 attendees split into teams and entered into a contest to see who could fit in the most rides. For the record, the winners managed a stomach-churning 31.

Meanwhile, if only to confirm the opinion of the UK's American chief executive Jon Slatkin that us Brits drink "a lot", UK managing director Andy Moug and worldwide marketing director (and top Brit) Dave Etherington led our girls and boys to a "resounding win" in a US v UK drinking competition. Cheers!


Nobody will be more upset that Amy Wino, sorry Winehouse, has dyed her beautiful, matted beehive a strange dirty yellow colour than the lookalike who has been visiting media agencies across London on behalf of Metro.

With a pal who makes a living looking like the equally salubrious Pete Doherty, "Amy" (above) has been promoting the paper's Juice Rehab, delivering baskets of detox food and health bars.

Judging by recent crack-addled snaps of the real-life Amy in The Sun, it doesn't look like her lookalike will be signing up for Metro's rehab any time soon.


While Metro's detox took care of the interior, Titan and Kinetic offered media men the chance to increase their exterior appeal, by giving them a professional wet shave as they waited for their trains at Victoria or Liverpool Street stations.

The promotion for Sweeney Todd sadly lacked a personal appearance from its star Johnny Depp, however with at least a few dozen smarter-looking men now on the loose, the women of London do at least have something to be grateful for.


BLM Media's female employees must be rising every morning with a spring in their step at the thought of working alongside their very own Patrick Swayze.

While the '80s heart throb may struggle to get screen time now, BLM's group business director Henry Daglish has no qualms about cashing in on the actor's one-time x-factor by recreating that scene from the film Ghost. And filming it.

Any sadist who has yet to see the painful display can catch it on YouTube.

Things to note: the frightened-looking woman being fake snogged, and Mr Daglish's gold signet ring, which adds a touch of traditional Britishness to the whole affair.


And finally: it was only a matter of time before Facebook did some-thing controversial and now, thanks to the killjoys over at Hasbro and Mattel, the social networking site is in the headlines again for all the wrong reasons.

Bosses at the games manufact-urers have very publicly taken their bat and their ball - or rather their board and tiles - and headed home because people are playing the Facebook version of Scrabble online. Which isn't allowed.

Bitch wonders if she is the only person to make the connection between the popularity of Scrabulous and the rise in sales of the board game. Probably not.

Got any gossip?


PEPE PARRA, Chairman of global experiential company, 2heads

5% - My day generally kicks off with keeping up on world events in order to stay on top of anything that may impact on the business and our clients.

20% - To-do list. Most of the time, items will have been carried over from the day before. With the best will in the world, completing my list very rarely happens, but clients' needs always come first.

25% - Managing the increasing number of e-mails. I get copied in on all large pitch work, so ploughing through them can be heavy going on some days. And it is no good skimming the surface, otherwise you're not at the heart of the business.

35% - Lunches and updates with the senior management team. Time is always put to good use, bouncing ideas and catching up with the team. Additionally, some of my time is often spent sitting around the table going through concept design work with the creatives. This allows us to look at the commercial viability of each project from the client's perspective, and to discuss the projects' strategic direction.

15% - I sit at the heart of the business, next to Gary, the managing director. We cover a lot of bases throughout the day and are constantly examining future growth areas and directions for our business, in order to keep it fit for the future.

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