Bammo's rustic clobber strikes a bum note at MTV
The MTV Europe Awards in Lisbon were bound to attract a glam crowd and Nick Bampton, chief at Viacom Brand Solutions, was determined to be suitably attired for the occasion.
Guided by his deputy, Mark Swift, to Lisbon's equivalent of New Bond Street, "Bammo" scooped up designer labels with the zeal of Victoria Beckham.
Alas, his efforts were uncharitably appraised by colleagues when he modelled his chosen ensemble.
A Hackett jacket, Timberland shirt and Camper boots, they mocked, were more suited to the Country Living Awards than the MTV glam-fest.
Heartbreak Hotel in Lisbon
And it wasn't Bammo's only misfortune in Lisbon.
Months of assiduous research into finding the best hotel in Lisbon to house his VIP media guests was wrecked when his block booking was cancelled at the last minute after the Awards' star performer, Ma(prima)donna, demanded 50 rooms in said hotel to house her itinerary of stylists and hangers on.
Other hotel guests were barred from using the swimming pool in case Princess Madge decided on a few lengths of breaststroke.
However, much fun was had at the after-show party.
One MTV girl was so overcome at a close-up encounter with Robbie Williams, compounded by a glass too many of the sparkly stuff, she had to be carried out on a stretcher – in a straitjacket.
Another casualty was Viacom Brand Solutions' resident German aristocrat, Sufia Von Bismarck, who, during an energetic rock 'n' roll routine with Walker Media's Jon Horrocks, was ungallantly sent spinning into a wall by the cad, leaving the gorgeous, pouting "countess" nursing a sore head the next day.