Media Bitch

Forget the Xmas pud, pass the wedding cake

’Tis, indeed, the season to be jolly, but how delighted Bitch was to learn that, among the festive mince pies and mulled wine, some people are still finding time to celebrate the virtues of love and marriage.

Mediaedge:cia boys and girls will be eschewing the usual drunken kissing under the mistletoe today as the theme of their Christmas party is the mock wedding of their colleagues Claire Kelly, UK TV buyer, and Michael Jones, head of business development EMEA.

If it’s anything like the champagne-fuelled weddings Bitch has been to, the kissing is more likely to be under the tables than under the mistletoe.

Baghdad bound

Bitch was interested to see the BBC is launching a new 24-hour FM station in Kabul.

She can imagine the following sort of conversation going on at Broadcasting House. “The good news is you’re not going to have to relocate to Manchester...”

Aussies throw down the golfing gauntlet

Bitch recently received a postcard – bearing the cheery salutation “Dear Pommy Agency Loser” – from online games publisher 3RDsense inviting her to log on and play a game of virtual golf, apparently in the hope that British participants might not be able to cut the mustard against their Australian counterparts in the “The Agency Cup”.

The event is to mark the opening of the firm’s Australian office.

“You got freakishly lucky in the rugby, but haven’t a hope in The Ashes next year. This time, though, we’ve picked an obscure little sport so you should do OK – golf.” It’s signed “The Australian Agencies”.

Now, Bitch isn’t really a big rugby fan herself, but she certainly knows how to spot some deep emotional wounds when she sees them.

Corrie ducks go for a pony

Bitch is delighted to hear that somebody has finally found a use for the china Coronation Street ducks sent out to all and sundry by ITV last month. An enterprising planner from one media agency managed to get £25 on eBay for the set.

Bitch welcomes further examples of promotional media tat bringing in dosh.

Grave message from Experience

Fed up with all those pretty snow scenes and “goodwill to all men” sentiments on Christmas cards this year? Communications planning agency Experience is celebrating the true Christmas spirit by sending electronic Christmas cards complete with Santa Claus’ grave and a bawling child.

Bah humbug.

California turned upside-down

Bitch was rather intrigued by the tabloid techniques adopted by Focus, “the world’s best science and technology monthly” in its January edition. “Porn is good for you”, promised a coverline, repeated on the contents page.

And when the punter turned to page 61?One paragraph on the subject.

Still, Bitch loved the rest of the magazine. Particularly the large satellite picture of forest fires in California which ran over a whole DPS. It was spoiled only slightly by being published upside down.


Set by Abby Carvosso, publisher of Emap’s forthcoming Grazia


What does Grazia mean?

a) Grace b) Class c) Thank you


According to Jan-Jun 04 ABCs, how many magazines are published in the women’s weeklies sector?

a) 15 b) 17 c) 19


What is the total Jan-Jun 04 ABC circulation of the women’s weeklies market?

a) 7.9 million b) 8.4 million c) 8.9 million


In which film does Kiera Knightley star on BBC 1 on Christmas Day?

a) Love Actually b) Pirates of the Caribbean c) Bend it like Beckham


Who is the first female to sing on the 2004 edition of Feed the World?

a) Dido b) Ms Dynamite c) Jamelia


1) a, 2) c, 3) b, 4) c, 5) a

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