Bitch is not afraid to admit that she is in her mid to late 30s. I know I don’t look it, but I do have a great Harley Street surgeon. Botox, eye lifts and face peels help to keep a girl like me looking at least 10 years younger. Funnily enough, I often see a number of high-profile media figures in the waiting room, but that is another story for another time…
Anyway I digress. The reason for revealing my age – or thereabouts – is because I remember the first time Dallas came into my life. Every Wednesday night I would sit down in front of the television waiting for the next instalment.
From what Bitch has heard and seen over the years it was a soap opera that mirrored the media industry – lots of rich men throwing their financial muscle about, while behind the scenes, strong powerful women made the really important decisions. Throw in the excessive lunches and copious amounts of booze and you could have Charlotte Street on any given day.
Anyway this brings me nicely onto the industry’s fellow Dallas fans, who all came out of the closest earlier this week at a party to celebrate the launch of Dallas on Channel 5 later this year.
Ensuring that all of his guests got into the spirit of the event Bitch has been told that Channel 5 supremo Richard Desmond was going by the moniker of ER – Easy Richard.
Bitch hears that ER was joined by a stellar media agency cast including everyone from Claudine Collins, managing director at Mediacom and Adrian English, head of media investment at Carat to Michael Williamson, head of radio at Carat and Phil Hall, head of TV at Mediacom, all donned specially made Stetsons and waved around fake dollar bills all night.
However, Bitch hears that the biggest super fan was none other than Universal McCann's managing partner, marketing, Mark Middlemass.
Bitch can reveal that not only did he stand at the front of the presentation of the Dallas cast, he took more photos than the paparazzi of his small-screen heroes. If that was not enough, he also made at least four videos on his phone.
If the producers of Dallas are watching this then Bitch is pleading for Middlemass to be given the role of Cliff Barnes' grown-up son.
In the field
On a far more sedate vibe, Bitch hears that there was a distinct lack of agency folk in Virgin Media’s Louder Lounge at the V Festival this year. For the past few years it was hard not to bump into various agency figures as they enjoyed the free hospitality on offer.
From a very reliable source, Bitch can only speculate that this perhaps have something to do with Channel 4 not being offered quite as many free tickets to the Louder Lounge. Instead Bitch hears, the media owner was told it would have to pay for extra tickets.
And on that bombshell it is time for me to bid farewell in the hope that one day Bobby Ewing will ask me out.