Media Bitch's Diary 11 March

This week Bitch goes back in time with Nickelodeon, salutes Rupert Murdoch and Charlie Sheen, flags up the Stock Exchange and waits patiently for her invite to Wills and Kate's big day.

Spongebob Squarepants: at Nickelodeon kids' programming launch
Spongebob Squarepants: at Nickelodeon kids' programming launch

A Housemartin and a hippy

Bitch loved the eighties: City traders, Saatchi & Saatchi and that "just divorced" Golf ad (take everything, darling). So she must admit that she felt a little in a time warp at the launch of the spring and summer programming launch for kids' channel Nickelodeon this week.

Alongside a life-sized Spongebob Squarepants, which clearly no party should be without, was former Housemartin (remember them?) Stan Cullimore.

Of course, Bitch only does free bars, so there was no talk of a Happy Hour. Turns out Collimore now presents a programme called 'The Bopps' on the channel, which aims to make "music for kids, that isn’t annoying for parents. Bitch hates to say it, but even that description’s annoying – back to the drawing board guys.

Just as she thought she’d got out of the era of shag perms, shoulder pads and puffball skirts, who did she bump into but eighties star Nigel Planer, who starred as Neil the hippy in the classic student sit com ‘The Young Ones’. He now plays the wizardly narrator in ‘Grizzly Tales’, but Bitch is sure that there are a lot of university types sitting around eating cornflakes in their underwear and watching Nickleodeon that find his voice strangely comforting.

Happy Birthday Rupes

Today (Friday) is a pretty special day in media, as 80 years ago this day, a certain Keith "Rupert" Murdoch entered the world, probably with ink stains already on his hands. Although he may get most of the things he wants (surely BSkyB is next), it doesn't look like retirement is top of his list of priorities.

Taking a leaf out of his "friend" David Cameron’s book, the newspaper and broadcasting magnate seems to be working until he drops (don’t laugh, we’ll all be like that soon if it’s up to the coalition Government).

While the party hats, balloons and jelly and ice cream are wheeled out at News Corp, Bitch still has one question – who’s going to take over when Daddy retires?

She can’t possibly believe that there will be the eye-poking and ear-flicking from the (now grown up) Murdoch siblings, Lachlan, James and Elisabeth, but with all of them still in contention to take the reigns from Dad, she wouldn’t rule it out.

She does, however, raise another possibility. With the seemingly immortal Murdoch refusing to back down from his News Corporation responsibilities, let’s not bet against nine-year-old Grace or seven-year-old Chloe taking over.

Sheen gets his weapon out

Everyone loves a Hollywood bad boy and Bitch is no exception. They don’t come much badder than Charlie Sheen. This week, the social networking site Twitter went wild with his antics, and Bitch has to admit she was hooked, with tales of "Tiger Blood" and of him wielding his weapon (a machete) on the front page of The Sun.

The former star of ‘Two And A Half Men’ has now turned his talents to cookery by hosting ‘Winning Recipes’ on the website

Sheen now has 2.4 million followers on Twitter, but it seems something the social media site is not that keen to publicise, with no response to all of Bitch’s emails this week.

Ex-Media Week man's stock rises

Ever wonder what happens to former Media Week editors? Well Bitch hates to say it, but it looks like they go up in the world.

Sneaked to her by one of the team (and apologies in advance for the navel gazing) is this picture of former Media Week editor Steve Barrett, who can now be found running Haymarket sister title PR Week in New York.

Blagging his way into ringing the closing bell at the infamous New York Stock Exchange, Bitch was told that the genial Barrett wasn’t quite aware that he would be broadcast live on a huge outdoor site in Times Square.

She really hopes he clipped those nose hairs before attending the event.

Never the bridesmaid, never the bride

Bitch is pleased to hear that her favourite (male) gossip columnist Neil Sean of the Metro’s ‘The Green Room’ fame (you’ve all sneaked a peak at it on the morning train/Tube ride, don’t lie) will be covering the Royal Wedding for NBC News and Access Hollywood. Emailing his news to the Media Week desk, Bitch "can reveal", that his deal lasts for two years and he will also be launching his own DVD releases into stores focusing on the "many A-list stars" he interviews for his chat show "Be My Guest".

Bitch wishes you luck darling, and is still waiting for her invite to the nuptials of Willie and Kate, which seems to have got lost in the post.

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