Milner punches below his weight at Buzz launch
All the celebs turned out for the launch of The Sun’s new TV magazine Buzz, with Barbara Windsor, Vic Reeves (pictured above with wife Nancy Sorrell) and Carol Vorderman among the famous faces tripping up the steps to Il Bottaccio in Mayfair, to the delight of the waiting paparazzi.
Once the snappers had finished heckling Vorderman - "tell us the square root of 36, love" - they trained their lenses on boxing legend Joe Calzaghe, who arrived at the same time as News International’s chief operating officer Clive Milner.
Unfortunately, the bouncers didn’t recognise the newspaper heavyweight, and held him back until Calzaghe had had his photo taken for the next day’s editions of News International’s papers. Milner certainly didn’t look impressed - but on the upside, Bitch is sure those bouncers won’t forget his face again…
Global Radio calls in special guests for awards pitch
The appearance of Stephen Fry in front of senior agency judges in Global Radio’s reception area was pure coincidence and not an orchestrated bid to win the Media Sales Team of the Year award at the Media Week Awards.
However, one visit that WAS deliberated staged by Stephen Miron and friends was the testimonial from client Paul Davies, UK marketing director of Microsoft, who apologised for being "a bit hoarse" because he had attended "a big product launch last night".
Must have been quite some party, as Microsoft was apparently "even more popular than the Pope" the following morning on Twitter.
Carat's Agency of the Year pitch is on fire
Meanwhile, media owners including IPC’s Evelyn Webster, Channel 4’s Andy Barnes and News International Commercial’s Paul Hayes toured London by taxi to appraise the pitches for the prestigious Media Agency of the Year award.
The second stop of the day was to Carat’s extremely smart new HQ - ahead of the agency’s office move next spring - which has almost 360-degree panoramic views, gleaming white leather sofas and plenty of chrome and glass.
It also - as the judges witnessed - has a rather ususual fire alarm, which starts with an announcement that sounds like an airport departure lounge, evolves into a strange, alien-like wail and ends with an automated: "The fire alarm test is now completed." "Thank you," said a relieved md Tracy de Groose, who presumably hadn’t planned the robotic interlude as part of her agency’s presentation.
Booze is banned as media athletes scale new heights
The days of booze-soaked lunches and ‘generous’ waistlines are officially over. These days, the majority of media-land practises fitness regimes that would put an Olympic athlete to shame, with a half-marathon officially considered "for girls".
As MEC’s managing director Steve Hatch, who completed the NABS 5k run in 22 minutes and 20 seconds explains, keeping up with the punishing pace of modern media life means you have to be "physically fit".
This week’s star performers are Carat, who raised £2,665 for Breast Cancer Campaign by completing the Three Peaks Challenge (Steve Hobbs and fellow walkers pictured below), although spare a thought for VivaKi’s Marco Bertozzi, who has entered the Royal Parks half-marathon but has "no time to train and no energy" thanks to his young baby.
"I need some help," he appealed. "Sponsor me through this nightmare." Help Marco boost his total of £215 for Oxfam by donating here.
Heavy metal is a religion... just ask Metal Hammer
Black, black and more black was the order of the day at Ozzfest, the Ozzy Osbourne-headlined festival at the O2, where heavy metal fans listened to bands including Steel Panther and Murderdolls in "The Valley of the Damned."
Before the - surprisingly energetic - Ozzy Osborne came on stage, Bitch bumped into the editor of Metal Hammer, Alexander Milas, who is currently campaigning for heavy metal to be listed as a religion in the 2012 census.
In fact, Milas is so dedicated to the heavy metal cause that he got up at 6.45am to argue his case on BBC Radio 4 - which was the first time he had been awake at that hour as the start, rather than the end, of his day.
Judging by his enthusiasm for the festival’s afterparty, where he was DJing, it looks as though it will also be the last.
Desmond's X-rated tour shocks hardened Five execs
And finally: Good to see that Richard Desmond is already cross-promoting his press and television assets, with the Daily Star Sunday emerging as the sponsor of Channel Five’s show Californication (see screen-shot below).
Five's remaining staff are set to move to Docklands next week and, ahead of the move, employees have been given guided tours of their new home.
Sounds as though it could be a bit of a culture shock though, with one source describing how programming executives were horrified to see a lady editing what can only be described as hardcore pornography - even though, as the source put it, "these guys have seen it all before". The mind boggles…